How am I you ask? I won't know about my MUGA (heart) scan until Tuesday when I meet with the oncologist and have another dose of chemo. Three weeks goes awfully fast when you're not looking forward to something. I put up a good front, but I am tired and often feel ill. There are days when I wake up and feel great, like a "normal" human. Days that I use to take for granted. I mowed the front and back lawn last week. First time since the fall of 2008. It was a joyous event for me! Silly me...I was sure once I'd finished the worst of the chemo and radiation I'd be back to my ol' self. There are days I wish I didn't need to work, but I also know sitting home doing nothing won't make me feel any better. Might make me feel worse. Yikes!
Women don't need mammograms until they're fifty. All that radiation and fear may cause more damage. False positives make women endure things that they might not have had to. I am not fifty. My mammogram showed a spidery mass. The nurse didn't even wait till the biopsy was done to tell me I had breast cancer. She knew by the shape. There is not a history of breast cancer in my family. My last mammogram was billed at $863.00. Would I have payed out that amount if insurance didn't pay? I doubt it. It would never have occurred to me that I was at risk. This "team's" reasoning for waiting until fifty was that it saves only one life out of 1,904 women. That would be my life!
How am I you ask? I whine. I miss my hair and less porky body. I miss waking up and feeling good more days than not. I am glad I had a mammogram. I am angry about the "team's" recommendation and can only hope that insurance companies won't change covering mammograms before a woman is fifty.
Keep Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The $1,000,000 Plan
I continue to be amazed by the medical community. My mother's doctor said it is "sick," and she worries about catastrophic illness.
Syndicated Columnist Nicholas Kristof states that U.S ranks 31st in life expectancy. 37th in infant mortality. Americans take 10% fewer drugs than citizens in other countries but pay 118% more per pill that they do take. We say we're the best, but we are behind Europe. Citizens in other countries get longer hospital stays and more medication than Americans do, because our insurance companies evict people from hospitals as soon as they stagger of bed.
I e-mailed my doctor and asked about getting my MUGA scan scheduled for the end of the month. "Could I please schedule it on the same day I see you and have chemo so I only have to take one day off of work?" All of a sudden it became imperative for them that I have it ASAP. What would have happened if I hadn't e-mailed? My chemo would be canceled until I could have it. Group Health confirmed that there are no appointment slots open in Tacoma until mid December. So I am now scheduled in Bellevue for this Monday.
Group Health has medical records on line. I'm actually getting freaked out about my $1,000,000 life time limit. The port put in was $10,000, the breast surgery $10,000, each big chemo $6,500, radiation $30,000...and so on. All the costs for physicals and colds, etc. that I've had for the last ten years are adding up.Once in awhile I check my record online for costs. My "little" chemos have ranged from $2,450 to $2,700. I wrote and asked, "Why the difference? They are the same chemical and same amount." They were quite quick to respond. "Our error. They should all be $2,700, but we'll be nice and keep our error at that cost and not change it on your billing."
My question is, if we become to ill to look after ourselves and be our own advocate, who will? Will the government plan stop covering people when they've used a $1,000,000? Will it cover pre-existing conditions? Will the new government health plan cure the system? Will it cure me? Will it cure you? Your loved ones?
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Syndicated Columnist Nicholas Kristof states that U.S ranks 31st in life expectancy. 37th in infant mortality. Americans take 10% fewer drugs than citizens in other countries but pay 118% more per pill that they do take. We say we're the best, but we are behind Europe. Citizens in other countries get longer hospital stays and more medication than Americans do, because our insurance companies evict people from hospitals as soon as they stagger of bed.
I e-mailed my doctor and asked about getting my MUGA scan scheduled for the end of the month. "Could I please schedule it on the same day I see you and have chemo so I only have to take one day off of work?" All of a sudden it became imperative for them that I have it ASAP. What would have happened if I hadn't e-mailed? My chemo would be canceled until I could have it. Group Health confirmed that there are no appointment slots open in Tacoma until mid December. So I am now scheduled in Bellevue for this Monday.
Group Health has medical records on line. I'm actually getting freaked out about my $1,000,000 life time limit. The port put in was $10,000, the breast surgery $10,000, each big chemo $6,500, radiation $30,000...and so on. All the costs for physicals and colds, etc. that I've had for the last ten years are adding up.Once in awhile I check my record online for costs. My "little" chemos have ranged from $2,450 to $2,700. I wrote and asked, "Why the difference? They are the same chemical and same amount." They were quite quick to respond. "Our error. They should all be $2,700, but we'll be nice and keep our error at that cost and not change it on your billing."
My question is, if we become to ill to look after ourselves and be our own advocate, who will? Will the government plan stop covering people when they've used a $1,000,000? Will it cover pre-existing conditions? Will the new government health plan cure the system? Will it cure me? Will it cure you? Your loved ones?
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Herceptin
You're done with radiation. What next? People thought I was done with the "whole program" once I finished radiation. WRONG! I continue to have Herceptin. I have had it with my other chemotherapy since June 2009.
Herceptin
What is it? A drug for breast cancer patients. What does it do? The drug attaches to cancer cells and tells the body's defense mechanism to target and destroy cancer cells. What are side effects? "Herceptin treatment can result in heart problems, including those without symptoms (reduced heart function) and those with symptoms (congestive heart failure). The most common side effects associated with Herceptin are fever, nausea, vomiting, infusion reactions, diarrhea, infections, increased cough, headache, fatigue, shortness of breath, rash, low white and red blood cells, and muscle pain." How often do I have it administered? Every three weeks.
Side effects of this have been minimal compared to the summer chemotherapy, but it comes with risks and does discombobulate me physically and emotionally(fatigue). I have compared the after effects to being hormonal. I cry easily right after a treatment. If someone looks at me kindly or does an act of kindness I cry. A few weeks ago I tripped over a shoe and wanted to hurl it against a wall. I hope no one flips me off when I'm driving. They don't say anything about being emotional in the literature. After losing a step father, sister, and two dogs within a six month period of time I stopped crying.
Is Herceptin alone to blame, or am I starting to feel again?
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Herceptin
What is it? A drug for breast cancer patients. What does it do? The drug attaches to cancer cells and tells the body's defense mechanism to target and destroy cancer cells. What are side effects? "Herceptin treatment can result in heart problems, including those without symptoms (reduced heart function) and those with symptoms (congestive heart failure). The most common side effects associated with Herceptin are fever, nausea, vomiting, infusion reactions, diarrhea, infections, increased cough, headache, fatigue, shortness of breath, rash, low white and red blood cells, and muscle pain." How often do I have it administered? Every three weeks.
Side effects of this have been minimal compared to the summer chemotherapy, but it comes with risks and does discombobulate me physically and emotionally(fatigue). I have compared the after effects to being hormonal. I cry easily right after a treatment. If someone looks at me kindly or does an act of kindness I cry. A few weeks ago I tripped over a shoe and wanted to hurl it against a wall. I hope no one flips me off when I'm driving. They don't say anything about being emotional in the literature. After losing a step father, sister, and two dogs within a six month period of time I stopped crying.
Is Herceptin alone to blame, or am I starting to feel again?
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Thursday, October 29, 2009
What's Your Prognosis?
"What's your prognosis?" I am frequently asked this question. I know it is asked with caring, but I haven't an answer.
Let's get serious. In a perfect world I will be healed, in a less perfect world things may go wrong. Do I know? NO! Do the doctors know? NO! Does cancer follow rules? NO!
A scan today may be clean. A scan down the road may not. That is why my significant others and I take one day at a time. It is why I encourage you and your significant others to do the same. Enjoy! None of us know what tomorrow will bring.
Relish, love and live for today.
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Let's get serious. In a perfect world I will be healed, in a less perfect world things may go wrong. Do I know? NO! Do the doctors know? NO! Does cancer follow rules? NO!
A scan today may be clean. A scan down the road may not. That is why my significant others and I take one day at a time. It is why I encourage you and your significant others to do the same. Enjoy! None of us know what tomorrow will bring.
Relish, love and live for today.
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Light in the Cave
The body heals, and it feels soooo good. There is light in the "cave." I am eating lots of protein to assist my body in replacing damaged cells. Both infections are almost totally healed. We are going on walks after school enjoying fall and not having to zip over to Tacoma to be zapped. We are not up to our four miles, but we're moving.
When I showed up at my last radiation session I had many cards to give to the gal going through lung/brain radiation. I had little notes on the envelopes like "Open after next radiation," all the cards were marked to get her through her last chemotherapy session. I hope she got them and unlike some people I know I hope she didn't open them all in one quick sitting! More than anything I hope they make her smile and keep her strong.
Slowly Paul and I emerge from "our cave". Someone whose brother is going through cancer said she can't seem to get through. Her brother and his wife are in a cave only big enough for two. How well Paul and I understand those words. We needed to lock ourselves away to focus on health, healing, wellness (mental and physical), and recovery. The cancer shock is a two by four that knocks you out for a time. Think of the cartoons of the character with little birds flying above the head. We are slowly emerging from our cave, reaching out to people we didn't have room for in our cave.
We hope they will understand and celebrate our emerging from the cave. While we don't know if future events will force us back into the cave or if we are emerging never to return to the darkness - we are happy to see some light.
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
When I showed up at my last radiation session I had many cards to give to the gal going through lung/brain radiation. I had little notes on the envelopes like "Open after next radiation," all the cards were marked to get her through her last chemotherapy session. I hope she got them and unlike some people I know I hope she didn't open them all in one quick sitting! More than anything I hope they make her smile and keep her strong.
Slowly Paul and I emerge from "our cave". Someone whose brother is going through cancer said she can't seem to get through. Her brother and his wife are in a cave only big enough for two. How well Paul and I understand those words. We needed to lock ourselves away to focus on health, healing, wellness (mental and physical), and recovery. The cancer shock is a two by four that knocks you out for a time. Think of the cartoons of the character with little birds flying above the head. We are slowly emerging from our cave, reaching out to people we didn't have room for in our cave.
We hope they will understand and celebrate our emerging from the cave. While we don't know if future events will force us back into the cave or if we are emerging never to return to the darkness - we are happy to see some light.
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Marathon
Somewhere I read of someone one else going through the cancer journey. She wanted to sprint through it and a wiser person told her it was a marathon. What wise words those are. I couldn't wait to be done with radiation, but here I am done and not healthy.
I couldn't wait to be done so we could resume our daily walking adventures. I can not breathe deep enough to walk a distance. I cannot carry on a conversation without coughing. A marathon. I so want to be finished with illness.
I want to be healthy, breathe deeply, have energy and have an immune system on full power. But I must focus about what I do have: life, insurance, food, job, spouse that I love and respect, friends, shelter, family . The way I see it is I am so far through this journey. I have finished the worst of chemo therapy. I have finished thirty-three days of burning radiation (the machine actually smoked last night). Yet I have a breast infection and lung infection which are slowing me down. I don't want to be slowed down.
I want to yell and scream and live life to its fullest. I want to climb Mr. Rainier. I want to wake up and feel GOOD.
I want good health.
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
I couldn't wait to be done so we could resume our daily walking adventures. I can not breathe deep enough to walk a distance. I cannot carry on a conversation without coughing. A marathon. I so want to be finished with illness.
I want to be healthy, breathe deeply, have energy and have an immune system on full power. But I must focus about what I do have: life, insurance, food, job, spouse that I love and respect, friends, shelter, family . The way I see it is I am so far through this journey. I have finished the worst of chemo therapy. I have finished thirty-three days of burning radiation (the machine actually smoked last night). Yet I have a breast infection and lung infection which are slowing me down. I don't want to be slowed down.
I want to yell and scream and live life to its fullest. I want to climb Mr. Rainier. I want to wake up and feel GOOD.
I want good health.
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Five To Go
Less than six months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had 82 grams removed from my breast. The cancer found its way into my lymph nodes. What a journey it has been. It seems like years. Learning how to dance in the storm rather than waiting for it to pass has been a priority. I am still learning how to dance.
Chemo this morning and radiation this evening. We went out for lunch after chemo now that I'm on the shortened, no big side effects chemicals. A nice lunch we had...so nice that dinner was not required this evening! We try to have some fun after each session and generally speaking we are usually quite successful.
Five days left of radiation. Today they started the radiation boost. This targets the area in the breast where the cancerous spots were removed rather than the whole breast. I have joked with a few people at work that if they see something pink on the ground they shouldn't step on it, and call me quickly. It's probably my nipple. Five more days and it might fall off! If all goes according to plan, next Thursday will be my last day. YEAH!!!
I was given some roses from the gal I have tried to support through this ordeal. She told me she had her second "big" chemo today and did okay. Her spirits were up. What a change in her from when we first met! The technician thanked me today. I asked, "For what?" He replied , "For being here for her."
All that strength, support, and cheering from you, enabled me to enable her. She too will learn how to dance in the storm.
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
Chemo this morning and radiation this evening. We went out for lunch after chemo now that I'm on the shortened, no big side effects chemicals. A nice lunch we had...so nice that dinner was not required this evening! We try to have some fun after each session and generally speaking we are usually quite successful.
Five days left of radiation. Today they started the radiation boost. This targets the area in the breast where the cancerous spots were removed rather than the whole breast. I have joked with a few people at work that if they see something pink on the ground they shouldn't step on it, and call me quickly. It's probably my nipple. Five more days and it might fall off! If all goes according to plan, next Thursday will be my last day. YEAH!!!
I was given some roses from the gal I have tried to support through this ordeal. She told me she had her second "big" chemo today and did okay. Her spirits were up. What a change in her from when we first met! The technician thanked me today. I asked, "For what?" He replied , "For being here for her."
All that strength, support, and cheering from you, enabled me to enable her. She too will learn how to dance in the storm.
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
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