Somewhere I read of someone one else going through the cancer journey. She wanted to sprint through it and a wiser person told her it was a marathon. What wise words those are. I couldn't wait to be done with radiation, but here I am done and not healthy.
I couldn't wait to be done so we could resume our daily walking adventures. I can not breathe deep enough to walk a distance. I cannot carry on a conversation without coughing. A marathon. I so want to be finished with illness.
I want to be healthy, breathe deeply, have energy and have an immune system on full power. But I must focus about what I do have: life, insurance, food, job, spouse that I love and respect, friends, shelter, family . The way I see it is I am so far through this journey. I have finished the worst of chemo therapy. I have finished thirty-three days of burning radiation (the machine actually smoked last night). Yet I have a breast infection and lung infection which are slowing me down. I don't want to be slowed down.
I want to yell and scream and live life to its fullest. I want to climb Mr. Rainier. I want to wake up and feel GOOD.
I want good health.
Make Pink Tough and Expect Great Things
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Dear Leah,
ReplyDeleteI am so worried about your infections. Can y ou please ask them to put you on an antibiotic IV? I think you would start to feel better right away. Just call and ask them, you have nothing to lose.
Love Betty
My dear friend Leah,
ReplyDeleteIt was soooooo good to see you today. And honestly you look MARVELOUS!!!!! If you met a stranger today Leah, they would never know the struggle you have dealt with this past week with your infections, nor the 33 days of radiation, nor the horrific chemo, nor the frightening and out of the blue diagnosis of breast cancer. If you met a stranger today Leah, they would see a beautiful, fun loving, somewhat quiet, kind,
passionate, caring, strong, healthy woman. They would see a woman in love with her husband, her son, her family, her job, her home and her life. They would be blessed that you had crossed their path. You continue to amaze me. You go down, you pick yourself right back up and you take another punch. Were you a scrapper as a kid?
It's kind of nice to have the rain. You won't feel bad missing a walk in the woods. Because rainy days are meant to be safe at home with the people you love.
See you at work when you can breathe!. (Or actually maybe you want your nose plugged :-)
Dear Leah,
ReplyDeleteYou are my super woman who can fight cancer cells in a single bound! I read your words and I cry. You show me that life is filled with so much more... than we allow ourselves to think about for fears that hide in the deepest of places. Waking up each morning and taking a deep breath is truly a gift that to many goes unnoticed. Really being in the moment and hearing your voice in your words and actions brings me courage I didn't know I had. You are a beautiful woman and one who continues to pave the way for lIVING FULLY and LOVING LIFE!!!!!! I love you :) Margot