Fight Like a Girl

I emerge from the "wipe-out" of chemo session number two. It is a surprise to me that it takes a couple of days for the full effect to "hit". I have cried a lot as my hair is gone, my face is red and swollen from the steroids, and I feel like.......well let's just say I've felt better! I haven't had contact with anyone but Paul this week while dealing with the side effects. Lately for entertainment I play the "Unfortunately, Fortunately" game. It goes like this. Unfortunately I have breast cancer, fortunately survival rate is high. Unfortunately the chemo is difficult, fortunately I have health insurance. Play this game with things in your life and I guarantee you can find a "fortunately" for every "unfortunately".

I was given a sweatshirt yesterday. It says "Fight Like a Girl". It made me laugh. The image that came to mind was a hair pulling, fingernail scratching brawl. Then I realized I have a huge advantage fighting like a girl. I have no hair to be pulled....and my nails are long!!!! So I will stand taller and fight harder. Remember Jim Croce? Instead of "Leroy Brown the baddest guy in the whole town, meaner than a junkyard dog"...we will insert Leah for Leroy, and I'll practice guttural growls!

Paul wants a shot of our shiny heads posted here, but I am not quite ready for that at this moment. Thank you for your prayers, love, encouragement, and comments. You are the very best.

Angels

Chemo session number two finished today. Four really heavy duty sessions with three drugs, then just one drug for a year. I am half way finished with the very nasty!!! YEAH ME!!!! My mohawk fell out in 2 days. Immune system, white blood cells all seriously impacted in these four sessions. The heart at risk of damage for a full year from the third drug that I will have for a year. They will continue to have my heart scanned (MUGA Scan) every three months to monitor its condition. I have gained 8 pounds in three weeks. This is because of the anti nausea steroids I take. So the pants I'd pulled out of my closet that fit from my cancer news weight loss...back into the closet! The ladies who administer and monitor my chemo are angels! I'll yack about them to anybody who cares to listen. More Angels...Mike and Mary Hoag who delivered a meal fit for royalty! The cards and thoughtfulness from my coworkers continue to inspire and cheer me on. Brianne for being a cheerleader with cancer survivor on her record! Diane who inspired me to get a mamogram. Kim who reads my blogs and comments! Lois and Bill, Nancy and Tim your prayers and caring. My son who has been a rock. Paul who has endured and won't leave me for a second (and still loves me!). You all have given me so much strength and courage. I continue to learn. I sound good, I look good but it takes huge amounts of energy to portray this picture..no more trips to the emergency room. Time for me to rest and cut down on contacts. I refuse to be sappy but have to monitor my gusto! This will be a challenge..but with Team Marston behind me...this too will be accomplished! Last on my list of celebrations....21 days smoke free!

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

After school I headed to the store to pick up some goodies to have around the house. An older woman admired the flowers in my basket. We started chatting. Turned out she has finished chemo not too long ago for lymphoma. Said she didn't gain weight, lose weight or get sick...and "look how thick my hair is!" We both agreed the hair loss is really not that big of deal in the big scheme of things. She was a gift for me to talk with. I knew it was only when, not if I'd lose my hair. Tuesday I started "shedding". Wednesday the clumps began to fall. I called Brian and asked him to give his mother a mohawk! Opportunity for a little fun with this has presented itself! For someone who had short hair to begin with I was amazed at how much was on the ground after the big shave. It looks pretty good. If his chemistry degree doesn't land him a job he can stand outside the oncology department and give mohawks!

No Happy Hour Saturday!

I worked all week last week and enjoyed myself. Worked like a dog to get my report cards done and printed. I was feeling a little (lot) tired by the time Friday rolled around. Figured it was allergies. Saturday brought a sappy me with aches, a sore throat , and fever. I have since learned that this is cause for alarm with chemo. Paul called the consulting nurse and we were told to show up at St. Joe's Emergency. Oh my goodness...where do you absolutely not want to be late on a Saturday night? The sounds.......! Learning curve is high.."Code Yellow" means trauma coming to Emergency. "Code Blue" means stopped heart. I guess we don't watch enough television! They took lots of blood to check for a multitude of things. Found nothing much in all that so pumped me full of IV antibiotics..figure that out. But it did reduce my fever so I got to go home!

Monday was my first day back at work, and it felt delightful. I love my kids and they love me! Many people were worried about me getting too tired, but it was a great energizing day. Coming out of the chemo fog and realizing that there is so little school left was a tad frightening. My port was de-accessed yesterday. Great hopes that the lump on my chest would be reduced. It was! Now it just appears that I have something buried in there, but I think I will be able continue to wear v-neck and some low cut shirts! YEAH!!!!!(Really it is enough adjustment to be losing all my hair, to lose half my wardrobe at the same time is a bit overwhelming!) The bonus with the port(yes there is a bonus) Eat your hearts out!.....I am convinced that if I stepped in front of a gunman and said, "Go ahead shoot me here" (and he had good aim) the bullet would bounce off the titanium port and fly back to injure the gunman. Maybe I'll be a hero!
Life is good!
Make Pink Tough
Expect Great Things

Sunday, June 7th

Welcome to Team Marston!
My first chemo session was on Tuesday, June 2nd. It was four and a half hours of IV drip. Good thing we brought the lap top with us for entertainment. I felt a little woozy upon our return home. All in all I think my reaction has been okay. Minimal nausea and a healthy appetite. At this point I will be looking like the Pillsbury doughboy in a short time. Sleeping is difficult with the apparatus attached to the port. It is like sleeping on a Tonka truck! I had planned to return to work on Thursday the 4th but the nurse suggested I not as often side effects are delayed. That was great advice. Slept a lot on Thursday and Friday. Awoke on Saturday feeling like part of the human race. Paul, Tucker and I went on a short walk.

Bought a wig last week. Put a golden retriever head on the dough boy...it seems very hairy even though it is not long hair. Make Pink Tough and continue to Expect Great Things.